


Snow Joke

by provencepuss



Category: Starsky & Hutch
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-30
Updated: 2013-06-30
Packaged: 2017-12-16 15:59:31
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,096
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/863880
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/provencepuss/pseuds/provencepuss
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Written for a 2012 Secret Santa; A little seasonal whimsy</p>
            </blockquote>





	Snow Joke

Snow joke - a whimsical tale for Christmas

Ken Hutchinson was dragged out of much-needed sleep by the constant honking of a car horn outside his window. He groaned and opened one eye to focus on the clock at the side of the bed. Either it had stopped, or he’d missed a morning.He turned over and saw daylight slipping in down the sides of the shade at the window. 

The car horn was replaced by the mating call of the lesser striped tomato and he dragged himself over to the window to acknowledge the wake-up call before the rest of the neighborhood took to the sidewalks to complain about the noise.

The Torino was parked across the street and Starsky was leaning against the passenger door, legs crossed and the ankles and arms folded he was staring up at the window and the expression on his face indicated that he had better things to do than wait for Hutch to get his act together. 

Ten minutes later Hutch was sitting in the passenger seat of the Torino. 

Starsky greeted him with a big grin.He slipped the car into gear and joined the Sunday traffic. “Good thing we have a day off today,” he said quietly once he was driving steadily along the highway.

Hutch missed a beat. “Wait a minute. You got me out of bed at…what time is it…?”

“Two o’clock. What time did you go to bed last night? No forget that, maybe it’s best if I don’t know.”

“Ok, two pm on a day off, a nice opportunity to catch up on the last few days when, unless you have forgotten buddy, we worked seventy-two hours straight; so excuse me if I seem a little grumpy when I ask ‘where the fuck are we going?’”.

Starsky smiled and said quietly:“I have an errand to do and I thought you’d like to join me. But if you want to sleep away the rest of this beautiful day I can take you home and go deal with it myself.”

They were already crossing the city and the traffic was light; Starsky took the turn onto the Freeway and settled back, right hand low on the wheel, left elbow on the armrest. “You’ve got to admit, Hutch, it _is_ a beautiful day.”

Hutch looked around as the city took a temporary break and the wilderness park spread out to the west of the road.Starsky negotiated the merge with the urban freeway and they continued their journey. It was warm and the sun was unencumbered by smog or clouds. Starsky leaned forward and turned the radio on; gentle west coast rock filled the car and even Hutch’s bad mood was lulled by it.

“Are you going to tell me where we’re going or is this one of your magical mystery tours?”

“I told you I had an errand to do. I promised Terri and….”

Oh that was it; Hutch understood now why he had been hijacked from his bed – Starsky needed his support while he carried out yet another of his promises to Terri. He knew well enough to leave Starsky to tell him more as and when he felt ready. He satisfied himself with watching the scenery as the freeway progressed through the middle class suburbs of the Valley until Starsky took a turn that led up into the built-up areas again.  
Starsky slowed down and started scanning the roadside looking for the turn off; he’d only been here once before and like so much of the city the area had changed a lot since then.He spotted his destination and pulled off the road.

Hutch couldn’t believe his eyes; here in the suburban sprawl was a farm dedicated to Christmas trees. Starsky parked the Torino and with a skip in his step he led Hutch to the store that served as an office; Hutch busied himself looking at the stuff on display. He breathed in the comforting and nostalgic scent of cinnamon and oranges and pine needles while Starsky held an intent and obviously good-humored conversation with the man behind the counter.Starsky came over to Hutch “penny for them” and jiggled a set of keys in the air.

“I was thinking how different Christmas was back home, to the way it is here.”

“Yeah I know; sometimes ‘I wish I had a river I could skate away on’[1]too.” Hutch was too surprised to say anything. He fell in behind Starsky who was walking at a determined pace towards a US Army surplus Jeep; he hopped in behind the wheel and started the engine while Hutch, still bemused, came around to take his place. 

As the Jeep bumped and jostled along a track leading into a plantation of pine and fir trees of all shapes and sizes Starsky seemed to be concentrating on something far away and Hutch knew that he was listening to the gentle voice in his mind reminding him of his promises.

“A Christmas tree, huh?Is that what you promised Terri?”

“Yeah. I promised her that the kids at the school would always have the best tree in the city. So that’s why we’re here, buddy, to choose and cut down the prefect tree.”

 

An hour later the tree was fastened to the Torino’s roof; it was so long that the tip was tied to the front bumper and the neat canvas ball that encased the roots was hooked to the back bumper.Two heavy duty elastic ropes with hooks at each end held the main body of the tree to the roof; the hooks were caught in the windows on either side.

Starsky drove carefully and the smell of the fir tree invaded the car, overpowering the fumes of passing traffic. 

“You know that song then?” Hutch said.

For an answer Starsky pushed the tape into the deck and Joni Mitchell’s voice filled the car with the sad melody of ‘Blue’.Hutch bit his tongue.

 

As they headed back to the city Starsky explained that they were going to leave the tree at the Marshall Center Principal’s house.“He has a big yard and it’ll be safe there. It’s still too early to put it up at the school, the kids get so excited and they don’t understand that it isn’t Christmas every day.”

“Good thinking. But what happens when it is time to deliver it to the school?”

“Oh that’s all arranged; don’t worry.”Somehow Hutch thought maybe he should worry just a little bit.

 

 

*************

 

Hutch soon had plenty to worry about and it was nothing to do with the tree.

Starsky drove him home but said he had things to do and didn’t stay. Hutch ran his finger along the lintel above his door and made a spine-chilling discovery. The key was not there! He told himself that this was not a problem and fished in his pocket for the key chain that held his house and car key. No keys! 

Hutch took stock of the situation and remembered that Starsky had a spare key. He didn’t think that he’d heard the Torino drive away so he ran down the stairs in the desperate hope that Starsky was still there.

The staircase seemed longer and deeper and steeper than usual and as Hutch ran he had the impression that with every step he covered another ten opened up below him. He told himself that this was just panic and kept running.

And fell.

 

Hutch rubbed the duck egg that was already swelling on the back of his head.

“Oh good, he’s awake.” A voice that sounded like Alvin the Chipmunk said close to his ear. He opened one wary eye and saw a small figure dressed in green standing beside him. Hutch ran a hand over his face and looked again. The speaker had been joined by six other characters of all shapes and sizes (in the small variety); and to Hutch’s horror they looked like chipmunks: chipmunks dressed up as extras for a bad production of Snow White

 

“What do we do with him?”

“Nick said to take him to the workshop.” ‘Alvin’ said in a whisper.

Hutch sat up. “I can hear you, you know. Who are you and who is Nick?”

“He doesn’t know who Nick is?” Alvin’s accomplice said in disbelief.

“No, I don’t know who Nick is, but I sure would like to meet him and find out what the fuck is going on here!”

“Come with us Ken.”

“Wait just a minute. How do you know my name?”

“We know everybody’s name. We know when you’ve been sleeping we know when you’re awake, we know if you’ve been bad or good….”[2]

“Oh for heaven’s sake!” Hutch stood up and enjoyed the look of dismay on their faces when they had to crane their necks back to look up at him.

“This way.” Alvin beckoned. Hutch followed them out of the doorway and looked around in confusion. The street had somehow been transformed into a Disneyland set. The façade of Venice Place was now dark brown and, he sniffed, he could smell gingerbread. He shook his head and followed the two little characters out onto the bright yellow sidewalk. __

The yellow pavement snaked into the distance where street should have been.

_ This has got to be a nightmare! _

He trudged along behind Alvin and his buddies. They were chatting and giggling as they walked ahead of him and Hutch jogged to catch up with them. Despite the fact his legs were longer than their whole bodies he couldn’t catch up with them. The faster he jogged, the faster they seemed to move. In fact they seemed to be floating above the surface. Hutch slowed down; the little guys started to rise up above the pavement and Hutch reached up to grab Alvin’s coat. His hand snatched at the air. Suddenly Hutch realized that he could no longer feel the ground beneath his feet. He looked down reluctantly and saw what he had been dreading; his feet had left the ground. He was walking in the air like a cartoon character when the cliff runs out.

He pulled back his sleeve and held his breath before plucking up the courage to look at his arm. He wasn’t sure what he hoped to see. After all, if this _was_ a bad trip, then he could be sure that it would soon be over and that he had a chance of escaping whoever had pulled him back into the realms of Morpheus’ evil twin brother. On the other hand - he allowed himself the black humor of thinking ‘or on the other arm’ – if he wasn’t high, where was he?

His arm was clean. But his ears were ringing; no, the sound wasn’t _in_ his ears. He turned to their source and braced himself for another surprise. 

There was familiar music coming from somewhere; his tired mind remembered the theme was by Prokofiev but the voice singing that he believed in Father Christmas sounded familiar.

“Starsky! Starsk? If this is your idea of a joke…” ****

****

The music appeared to be coming from the vehicle floating towards him, it was red but it didn’t have a white stripe. It was driven – if that was the right word – by a man with curly hair. _White_ curly hair.

By the look of his cheeks “like roses and his nose like a cherry”[3] and his red and white outfit competed by big black boots, Hutch drew the reluctant conclusion that the old guy believed in himself. 

Alvin started squeaking happily “You’d better watch out, I’m telling you why, Santa Claus is coming to town”[4]

“You,” Hutch raised a finger, “shut up!”

“Now now, Ken, is that anyway to speak to my faithful assistants?”

Once again, Hutch was confused; “How do you know my name?”

“The same way that I know the names of every child in the world; yes Ken, even those who think that they don’t believe in me and those who live in countries where the story isn’t the same; wherever there are children I go to bring happiness at least once a year.”

“Oh come on! You expect me to believe that you are Santa Claus? I wasn’t born yesterday you know.”

“I know exactly when you were born, Ken, and where, for that matter.”

Hutch ran a hand over his face.

“You always do that when you’re irritated.”

“I’m _not_ irritated!”

“Confused then.” He laughed “Ho ho ho!”

“Yes, ok, maybe confused. You know my name but I still don’t know yours.”

 

That was greeted by a peal of chipmunk laughter.

“When you were little you called me Santa, but others call me Kris Kringle or Saint Nick or even Father Christmas.”

“B-b-but.”

“Yes, I know, you don’t believe in me anymore. Oh I heard you last year when that nice boy David was trying so hard to make you join in and all you could do was complain and about euphoric sentimentality or some such stuff and nonsense. That wasn’t very nice of you Ken.”

“So this Christmas I’m trapped in some kind of Disney Nightmare to punish me for not joining in with all that…” Hutch stopped before he said it; “You know I’m not against Christmas, just the way it has become one big commercialized extravaganza.”

“I can see your point there.” The old guy said as he pointed to the sleigh that was groaning under the weight of the sacks and boxes and oversized stockings. 

“Yeah, and he forgets that when he gets onboard it is even heavier.” The speaker had a high whinnying voice with a nasal quality that sounded like maybe he had a cold. 

“Oh quit complaining; at least you get the easy job of running ahead to light the way.” The second speaker’s voice was lower but had the same whinnying quality. Hutch turned half hoping he wasn’t going to see what he thought he was going to see. Standing beside the sledge were two reindeer, and yes, one of them had a very red nose.

 

****

 

He’d never admit it in front of Hutch, but sometimes Starsky missed the snow. Sure, the snow of his childhood was usually turned to slush and sidewalk menace within hours, not like the white blanket stuff they got in Minnesota, but it was snow and he could fantasize about sleigh bells when the sirens wailed in the streets around him. He loved that song too.

“It’s coming on Christmas, they’re cutting down trees, they’re putting up reindeer….it don’t snow here it stays pretty green”[5]

Right now it was warm enough for him to have a T-shirt under his leather jacket and the window rolled down a little as he drove to finish his shopping. He only had one gift left to buy and he knew exactly where to go to find it. 

He stood in the doorway of the store and sniffed the smell of wood and varnish and fuel for model trains; this was a real toy store. He walked around stopping to admire anything that caught his eye; he couldn’t resist flipping the switch that set a perfect replica of a 2-10-12 Santa Fe chuffing along the tracks.

“Are you sure that is what you are looking for?”

Starsky turned to see that the speaker was an old man with white hair and a white beard; he was smoking an old-fashioned clay pipe and his eyes twinkled behind wire-rimmed glasses.

“No, truth is I’m not sure what I’m looking for.”

“Boy or girl?”

Starsky smiled. “My boss’s son; he wants to learn to make models.”

“I have just the thing.” 

The old man guided him past a shelf full of ‘snowstorms’. Starsky stopped to look at them and the old man smiled a knowing smile.

“I’ll bet you’ve never seen one like this.” The old man winked and pointed to a giant snowstorm.

The old man showed him the mechanism that made the toy rock so that the snowflakes fell inside it. “It’s beautiful,” Starsky said.

 

 

*********

 

Hutch shivered; _that’s all I need, snow!_

The sleigh had stopped in front of him and Nick told him to climb aboard; not wishing to be stuck in the middle of wherever, Hutch did as he was invited. Before he had a chance to settle onto the bench beside Nick the thing took off and he slid dangerously near the fat man’s lap. Nick chuckled “thought you’d be used to that kind of maneuver.”

“Very funny. Where are we going?”

“I’m going on my rounds, as for you – this is where you get out!” As he spoke he pushed Hutch violently making him fall from the sleigh.

Hutch’s cry faded to a wail as he landed with a thump in a huge snowdrift. He tested his limbs with care and managed to get to his feet.

“Welcome; you must be the new recruit. We are up to our ears in business, all these darn gifts and pesky kids with their “Dear Santa, please bring me...” can’t keep up with the little pests. And just to make it worse, every year the stuff changes. In my day we were happy to get a candy cane instead of a caning and maybe an orange or a simple toy. Now they want remote controlled cars and something called an Atari and dolls with more clothes than some kids will see in a lifetime. It’s all gotten out of hand.”

Hutch didn’t know whether to agree or not. He looked at the character standing in front of him and recognized him immediately. Not for nothing had Starsky dubbed Hutch ‘the Bay City Grinch’!

“Come on, the quicker we get done the quicker we can close up shop for another year and go back to something like normal life.”

There was music playing as Hutch followed the Grinch into the building. 

“Frosty the snowman was a jolly happy soul…”[6]

“Shut that row off!” the Grinch yelled and the music stopped.

 

***********

Starsky watched in awe as the snow fell silently inside the plastic dome. Santa’s sleigh, drawn by the full complement of reindeer with Rudolf leading the way, was descending to where a group of people were waiting. He thought he heard someone call his name. The snow inside the toy stopped and Santa’s sleigh took off; Starsky noticed that it had a passenger as if one of the people who had been standing waiting had climbed aboard.

“It’s beautiful.”

“But of course.” The old man winked again. “It was made for you.”

 

Starsky decided to ignore what the old man said but it troubled him. He went back to looking for the gift for Cal; he collected the tools and basics he would need to teach him how to make models and took them to the counter.

He paid and refused the offer of a gift wrap. “No, I like to make all my packages look the same.” He smiled at the old man. “This year I’m using green paper and red ribbon.”

“Let me put it in a box to make the wrapping up easier.”

“Thanks.”

 

Starsky had to reach out a hand to stop the box from sliding off the seat as he took the final steep corner up to his house. Once again he thought he heard someone call his name; but there was no-one around.

 

 

Starsky wrapped all his gifts taking great care with the bows and ribbons. He fixed himself an omelet and ate it while he watched a corny movie before taking a shower and getting an early night to prepare himself for the Christmas party at the Marshall Center. 

The next morning he called Hutch to make sure that he would be ready when Starsky arrived to collect him; but there was no reply. Starsky looked at his watch and decided that Hutch was probably out jogging. 

Starsky arrived outside Venice Place and parked behind Hutch’s car. He ran up the stairs and knocked on the door. He gave Hutch a few seconds in case he was in the bathroom then ran his hand along the lintel to find the spare key. It wasn’t there.He figured that Hutch had used it himself the way he did when he couldn’t find the key in his pocket quickly enough. He knocked again but Hutch didn’t answer. 

“Hutch! Hutch, you in there?”

He listened at the door but there was no sound of life. His left hand went instinctively to the inside of his vest as he tried the door handle with his right hand. The door was locked. Starsky reviewed his options: either he forced the door open and would likely be faced with an irate partner; or he went down to the street and made a wake-up call.

There was nothing for it; he slipped behind the wheel and hit the siren yet again and felt kind of sorry for the neighbors as he did so.

The Torino whooped and wailed as if calling a long lost lover; but still no sign of Hutch. Annoyed, Starsky drove away; he had a party to help organize and if Hutch couldn’t even summon up enough Christmas spirit to entertain the kids at the Marshall Center, then too bad!

The tree was already in place and Starsky helped with the decorating. “Just don’t ask me to go up the ladder to put the star on the top, OK,” he said with a big grin.

The kids were beginning to arrive and Starsky went to change into his Santa suit. He pushed a pillow down the front and adjusted the big black belt to keep in place; checked his beard and hat in a mirror and went out to meet his public. Sally was in the front row and she wasn’t fooled. “It’s Starsky Claus” she squealed and started clapping happily.

He distributed gifts and gave every child from Terri’s class an extra hug and whispered ‘and this is from our best angel friend’ in each ear as he did so. When the presents were all distributed the principal clapped his hands for silence. As the children’s voices calmed Starsky thought he heard someone call his name.

“Sally, are you ready?”

Proud and smiling Sally stood up and went over to the foot of the tree where Starsky saw that there was a new package. She picked it up and carried it over to him, her tongue hanging out of the corner of her mouth in concentration.

“This is for you because we know Miss Roberts loved you and you miss her.”

Starsky wiped a tear from his eye and leaned forward to take the package from Sally. He pulled off his beard and gave her a big kiss, causing her to squeal with joy. “May I open it now?”

“No, you have to wait until Christmas Day.” Sally told him very solemnly.

“I will.”

 

He drove home with the tears still clouding his eyes.

 

******

Somewhere inside the workshop, Hutch had been assigned a stool and set to work writing gift tags. He told himself that it was his imagination but he couldn’t even believe himself. The situation had gone from bad to worse. The Grinch had led him into the workshop and after a long discussion with another Grinch in which Hutch’s attitude to Christmas was merited and de-merited with abandon, and to which he was not permitted to contribute, every one of his attempts to do so was met with such a malevolent stare that he dared no longer open his mouth, the two Grinches came down to two possible tasks.

“He could work on the gift-wrap team.” Grinch Two’s suggestion was greeted by almost hysterical laughter from the others in the workshop.

“He has the gifts wrapped by the store, although he complains if it costs extra.”

“In that case,” Grinch Two shoved a pad and a pencil in front of Hutch. “Write the following.”

Hutch picked up the pencil, and put it down again. “Wait just a minute here.”

“Don’t you raise that finger at me, Ken Hutchinson!” Grinch One snapped.

Hutch was so taken aback that he lowered his hand. “Ok, what do you want me to write?”

“I already told you.” Grinch Two snarled nastily.

“No you didn’t. You said…oh I get it, you’re sense of humor is worse than Starsky’s.”

He wrote two words on the pad, ‘the following’, and set the pencil down again.

The two Grinches studied his handiwork. The discussed something in low voices and Two turned to Hutch to announce: “you can work the gift tag line.”

 

A police siren shattered the silence. One of the Grinches stomped over to a chipmunk elf and cuffed his ear. “I told you not to play with the toys!”

“I’m just testing it; Santa wouldn’t want a kid to get a toy that didn’t work.”

The Grinch muttered something and went back to his desk.

Later, when the clock struck thirteen, Hutch got off his stool and walked to the window.

Outside it was daylight and in the near distance he could see a group of people sitting around a huge Christmas tree. He could clearly see the Santa who was distributing gifts and his heart skipped a beat when he realized that the little girl talking to Santa was Sally. He watched the Santa walk away from the tree. “Starsky!”

So near and yet so far, Starsky shucked off his Santa suit and walked to the Torino. Straining his ears, Hutch heard the familiar and comforting growl of the engine as it drove away and disappeared from view.

_ Starsky must have gone by my place to collect me; doesn’t he wonder where I am? _

Alvin was by his side. “You were so sour about Christmas last year, maybe he doesn’t care where you are.”

“No, Starsky would always try to find me.”

“Yea yea, he’ll always get you out of a _fix_.” The way Alvin said ‘fix’ made Hutch gulp back tears. “You know about that?”

“I told you, we know everything about everyone.You remember that day Starsky told you he knew all about you; well so do we… _plus_ some things maybe even Starsky doesn’t know.”

“And does that mean you know things about him that I don’t?”

“Sure it does. But we would never tell you what they were.”

The question had to be asked. “But would you tell him what you know about me?”

Alvin tipped his head to one side and looked at Hutch carefully; “only if I really had to.” He winked and walked away. 

Hutch sat on a seat and stared up at the sky.

The sky? For the first time he noticed that there seemed to be some kind of artificial roof over his head. It looked like a glass dome. He allowed his eyes to get used to the light coming from above and slowly things came into focus. He could see what looked like a giant Christmas tree in a living room. 

 

 

*******

 

 

 

Christmas morning dawned crisp and bright; it was about as cold as it could get in Bay City and there was a dusting of snow on the mountains above Starsky’s house. He put on an extra t-shirt under his sweat-suit and set out for a run. Despite Sally’s prohibition he had opened the package when he got home and the memory of Terri came flooding back to him. He slept badly, dreaming that she was beside him and waking to an empty pillow next to his own. He needed to run to clear his head and to set himself up for the day.

When he returned home he took a long hot shower and wrapped a towel around his hips. While his coffee was settling in the coffee pot he dialed Hutch’s number; once again the phone rang and rang in the emptiness. The coffee was left to get cold. Starsky dressed and ran out to his car.

“Zebra three to control.”

“Merry Christmas Starsky; I thought you weren’t working this year.”

“I’m not Muriel; but this may be an emergency. Sorry, Merry Christmas to you too.”

“Tell me what I need to know.” 

“I think Hutch is missing.” He heard her draw a breath. Ever since Hutch’s I dropped him home the other day and I know he wasn’t going out again. When I went by yesterday he wasn’t there. And he didn’t answer the phone again this morning and,” his voice shook slightly, “I’m worried.”

“What do you want me to do?”

“Who’s on duty today, Muriel? I don’t want too many people in on this in case I’m wrong.”

Muriel knew what he meant; the last time Hutch disappeared he wound up strung out worse than a popcorn chain.“Joe, Steve and Murray,” she told him.

“Ok tell Joe and Steve, no-one else. Get them out looking for him. I’m going to his place one more time then I have to go to the Dobey’s to get Christmas going; with luck he is already there. Keep me posted; I’ll tell the Captain.”

“Ok. Starsky…”

“Yes?”

“I’m sure he’ll be OK.”

“I hope you’re right.”

 

Starsky parked outside Venice Place, Hutch’s car was still in place and he hoped that was a good sign.

“Hutch?” he knocked on the door again; “Hutch, are you in there?”

Starsky sighed and kicked the door open. There was no sign of Hutch. His dirty dishes were still in the sink and one of them was growing a fur coat. The bed was made up (Starsky raised an eyebrow to see that his partner had at least done that for once) and there was no sign of a struggle. Wherever Hutch was, Starsky hoped he was not in trouble.

He put his trust in his colleagues and hoped against hope that the reason Hutch’s car was still in place was that it had refused to start yet again and Hutch had taken a cab to the Dobey’s.

 

Rosie Dobey was wearing her best dress and a smile big enough to guide all the shepherds and kings in the world to the crib in her church. Starsky picked her up, and gave her a big kiss. “Where’s your daddy?”

“He’s getting ready for church. Mommy is in the kitchen.”

“Is Hutch here already?”

“No,” she looked worried, “isn’t he with you?”

Dobey appeared at that moment and Starsky put Rosie down; he nodded to the study door; Dobey led him in and closed the door.

“What’s going on?” he asked, “Muriel called.”

“I haven’t seen Hutch since I left him at his place on Sunday afternoon. I went to his place but he isn’t there.”

“What do you want to do?”

“Play things as normal as possible for the kids; Joe and Steve are out looking for him and I’ll be here if he turns up.” He forced a smile, “maybe he’s just doing last minute shopping and I just missed him each time.” He decided not to mention the two-day dishes in the sink.

They went back into the living room; Edith Dobey was organizing Cal and Rosie. She smiled when she saw Starsky and came over to kiss him. “Where’s Hutch?”

“I guess he’ll be here later; maybe he decided that this year he isn’t even into the religious bit of Christmas.” The adults smiled; Hutch’s grouching about the way Christmas had become more and more commercialized were a source of amusement to all of them.

“You go to church and I’ll get on with things here.”

Starsky watched Dobey drive away with his family and stepped back into the house. Over the years they had found a routine: the Dobey’s and Hutch went to church while the most Christmas-minded Jewish kid kept an eye on the turkey in the oven and whipped up a couple of specialties of his own.

The kitchen was under control so Starsky set about the decorating. The tree was already up and bore the tinsel and colored balls and the gifts were arranged around the base. Starsky ran out to the Torino and returned with his duffel bag filled with his offerings. He started to place them under the tree when something fell out of the bag. He stared at it.

The snow-storm toy seemed much bigger than it was in the store. He put it on the table and looked at it again. The scene had changed. The sleigh was outside a small wooden building with a notice that said ‘Santa’s workshop’ over the door. Even though he hadn’t touched it the snow was falling inside the dome. He shivered and tried to tell himself that he was imagining things.

He went into the kitchen to check on the turkey; it was doing fine. He basted it carefully and drained some of the juices off to start making the gravy the way his mom had taught him years ago; this was one of Starsky’s special contributions to the meal; gravy made with the meat juices and carefully browned onions. He left the gravy to simmer and started to prepare his other ‘special’, a big pitcher of mulled wine.

He went back into the sitting room to get an orange from the fruit bowl. 

The snow-storm had changed again. It seemed to have gotten bigger. _And I haven’t even tasted the wine yet_!

He went back into the kitchen and heated the wine, adding the cinnamon and spices and the orange that he had studded with cloves. He was stirring the wine when he heard Hutch call his name. Wooden spoon in hand he ran out to the hallway; but there was no-one there.

“Hutch?”

“Starsky…help.”

 

******

Hutch rubbed his eyes. This whole thing had to be a nightmare! He looked around in despair. The workshop was still there, but there was no sign of anyone else. The sleigh was standing alongside the workshop; but Hutch suddenly realized that he was alone.

Alone and trapped in a Christmas nightmare.

For the first time he noticed a fir tree growing behind the workshop; its branches reached up to the top of the dome itself. He decided to climb it and try to get a better look at where he was.

 

Up in the top branches of the tree; swaying and trying desperately to keep his balance, Hutch looked at the scene on the other side of the glass. He recognized the furniture; it was the Dobey’s sitting room. And Starsky was walking into the kitchen.

He had to do something.

Desperation spawns ingenious ideas and Hutch was inspired.He tested the branch above him to see if it would bear his weight and once he was confident that it would he swung himself up onto it. He edged his way as far along the branch as he could before it started to dip dangerously under his weight. He was relying on some long lost class about velocity and force. He started swinging. His feet touched the side of the dome and the strange enclosed universe rocked, but not enough.Hutch figured he needed to get a little higher to get the right angle of impact; He hauled himself onto the next branch and started swinging again.

This time it worked. The force of his movement and the impact of his feet against the wall of the dome made the whole thing teeter then fall. Hutch clung to the tree for dear life as the whole scene tipped onto its side.

And the side of the dome cracked.

*****

Starsky was stirring the mulled wine and sipping from the spoon to check the spices when he heard the crash. He ran into the other room ready to take on an intruder armed only with a wooden spoon.

Hutch was standing in the middle of the room surrounded by what looked like snow.

“Where’d you come from? I’ve been looking all over for you!”

Hutch pointed to the broken snow-scene lying on the floor under the tree.

“It’s a long story, Starsky.”

Starsky understood now why the old man had been so sure that the snow scene was made for him.

“Let’s get this mess cleared up before they get back.” He said quietly.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

  


* * *

[1] River. Joni Mitchell 1971

[2] SantaClaus is coming to TownCoots and Gillespie 1934

[3] The Night before Christmas. Clement Clarke Moore 1892

[4] Santa Claus is coming to Town. Coots and Gillespie 1934

[5] River Joni Mitchell 1970

[6] Frosty the Snowman. Hoots and Gillespie 1950


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